Forgiveness

The Lord woke me up night before last and said "De'Anna, there is someone I want for you to forgive." I said alright, I don't have a problem with forgiveness, but when he told me who it was, I was perplexed. I thought I had forgiven that person. I told him so. His reply was, as long as you carry that woundedness in your heart, then forgiveness is not complete. When I thought about the particular instance I knew He was talking about, I realized that not only had I still carried that hurt, but I also felt I had the right to carry that hurt. I had, after all, done nothing really wrong. He told me gently that He wanted to touch that place in my heart and heal it. Would I allow Him to? Of course Lord! I gave you full entrance to every place in my being a long time ago! Help me to let go of that woundedness, and forgive. I stated out loud that I chose to forgive. Please help me put that forgiveness into action.

He then brought to my mind a huge tri-headed thorn /thistle that had been growing out in my front yard for several weeks. I couldn't mow because of all the rain, and it kept getting bigger. I was determined that I would up root it as soon as the weather permitted. He told me that unforgiveness was much like that thorn bush. It would grow big and the roots deep, and it would eventually destroy my yard. I had to water it well before I could dig it up even because I knew the roots ran deep.....and I wanted it to be completely gone. He reminded me how I had watered it so that I could complete the task of pulling it fully.....and reminded me that His word...the Bible, is what waters our lives. By watering my spirit with His word, He could fully dig out the roots of unforgiveness in my life; after all, they caused me bitterness, anger and caused me to strive and fret and have fear over things that I was never meant to have fear about.

In letting Jesus take full control of my heart I wanted it to be cleared of those things that would hinder my ability to stand in His presence without fear.

He reminded me once again that forgiveness allowed him to work in the other person's life. Forgiveness did not mean that what was done to me was right, or cool or good. It only meant that I didn't any longer HAVE to be responsible for the other person.....like I could change them anyway. I have known unforgiveness to cause me physical illness even....so ........ I refuse to carry that stuff around with me....I want God to take control over the other person's life...! I want to walk away and never think about that pain again.....and the only way I have ever been able to do that was through forgiving the person that committed the act that caused me anger in the first place.

I don't know if I am making sense, but for as long as I carry unforgiveness, it is nearly impossible for God to do anything about the other person.....and hard for God to work in my own heart as well. So, I have chosen forgiveness as a lifestyle.....and I have chosen love over bitterness and hatred. Sometimes, I have to choose that several times each day......but that's why I have an open heaven over my life. Simply Forgiveness. Thanks Lord, for showing me how you forget our sins.....! And remember them no more!!! Amazing!

MY HEART HEARS!

I listened as you spoke,

to the congregation upon the mount.

My heart cried out in gladness

as you blessed those hearts with,

a seed so carefully planted.

And I heard you teach that day saying,

blessed are all of those who would take heed

and learn to love perfectly as you love.

Though their hearts may be forsaken and torn by this world.

There were many blessings brought to every generation

And established by your spoken Word.

Your Love, and every part of creation you are,

spoke of every good and wonderful being that you are.

I cried as I realized all the Love that you are.

I heard as you spoke the depth of your own hearts desire.

It spoke of all that are by your hand made alive,

and set within their spirits sure, a divine spirit,

made to every likeness of your very own image.

I marveled at the Grace of every word you spoke.

And blessed all those who were pure in heart.

For you surely said they would see God,

and clearly established their inheritance of earth.

It pleased me and healed me to sit as I listened.

Knowing full well I drank from the river

of your infinite Love unending.

And I found myself at peace, sitting there at your feet.

I listened, as you taught our hearts to pray.

That your will would be established and finished

upon this earth, as it is already within heaven by your spirit.

I chose within myself that very hour, your Love.

And I, would not turn away again, ever.

Never willingly turning back to any sin.

Though I might be deceived until you were clearly revealed,

I would remain forgiven.

I pondered the great act of your Mercy, as Love poured out 

the very depth of your consuming spirit.

And I was amazed that day at the change within my spirit.

Knowing that I was really loved within.

You never once condemned me for my sin.

I praised your name within my heart that day.

And since that day was borne within my soul

I had wondered how it was that you could Love so deeply.

And contemplated why even you would chose to love, even me.

And then I knew. You desired that the congregation

would Love, perfectly the ALL of you.

And seeing you there I found myself mesmerized

and unable to move at all.

I desired you there, and vowed within my heart,

that you, my ever-loving God, would receive,

My love,

Me.

DEANNA WEST   © 1995

Affinity

On January 14th 2012 my son Frank was married to the love of his life Kay. It was a beautiful ceremony, and a blessing and a gift to me. I love Kay as if she were my own daughter. I wish both of them the very best. This poem was handed to me hand written by a young man whom I don't know, and whom I have never met again. I didn't get his name. He apparently had memorized it and then handed it to me written out by hand. So I thought for years that he had written it. I have looked before for this poem with no luck until today. 

Apparently, this poem is written by the author Dora Greenwell. It's called "Home". It is still fitting. I have looked this up before with no luck. This time this is what I came across. The author has a 'pen' name... and the poem goes by another name as well. Still a great poem. "Within One Nest" by Amarin Rose 
I would have called it Affinity because of the meaning of the word. 

Two birds within one nest,

Two hearts within one breast.

Two spirits within ONE fair,

firm league of love and prayer.

Together bound, you agree.

Together blessed.

An ear that waits to catch,

a hand upon the latch.

A step that hastens

it is sweet rest to win.

A world of care without.

A world of strife shut out.

A world of Love shut in.